Stress is one of the main social problems of our century. When it begins to invade our thoughts and take up too much space in our mind, it often turns into anxiety. This state of apprehension where we want to perform at all costs and be up to par is called performance anxiety. Linked to the obsession with success, it is now transposed into bed with those who have a constant fear of experiencing sexual failure. The sexual relationship that is usually synonymous with reducing stress and releasing tension suddenly becomes the opposite. Fortunately, there are several ways to get out of this!
Sex is basically synonymous with pleasures and pleasant experiences. Once performance anxiety sets in in bed, sex can quickly become a burden. The fear for the man of losing his erection or the fear of painful penetration for the woman are some examples which slow down the excitement in sexual intercourse. By repeating our anxieties to ourselves, the brain ends up believing them, and they become reality. The organ at the heart of sexual relations is first and foremost the brain. This is why it is important to think positively and chase away thoughts that can negatively affect our performance.
Put all your energy into living in the present moment. Enjoy the caresses and softness of your partner's hands on your body and let the desire rise within you. Chase away stress and all its negative problems, and let sexual urges take over you instead. Don't think about what can go wrong, and focus instead on the pleasure you feel.
Performance anxiety in bed often occurs following a negative event. For example, a man who had a loss of erection during his last sexual encounter will be much more inclined to think about it during subsequent relationships and will put considerable pressure on himself to ensure that it does not happen again. In doing so, however, it will create the opposite effect. The more he thinks about it, the less he will be able to perform. A little bad luck during a sexual relationship can happen to everyone, you should definitely not generalize and believe that it will happen every time. Let’s stop putting pressure on ourselves once and for all!
Obviously, talking to your partner about your fears and anxieties about sexual performance is one of the best practices to adopt to reduce anxiety. Putting words to your anxieties, verbalizing them and expressing how you feel about the situation can often help relieve anxiety and apprehensions about our next sexual performance. Your partner will be able to reassure you, and you will quickly feel relieved. After all, a healthy, enjoyable sexual relationship feels just as good on one side as it does on the other!
So, take action before becoming a spectator of your own sexuality. Before your thoughts take up so much space that you will no longer be able to fully enjoy your intimate moments. And if performance anxiety in bed starts to become omnipresent and you are at the end of your rope, don't forget that a sexologist will be able to help you find calm and fulfilling sexual relations. After all, it's so nice to live in the moment, in bed, with our partner.