Stress is one of the main social problems of our century. When it begins to invade our thoughts and take up a disproportionate amount of space in our minds, it often turns into anxiety. This state of apprehension in which we desperately want to perform and live up to expectations is called performance anxiety. Linked to an obsession with success, it now extends into the bedroom, affecting those who constantly fear experiencing sexual failure. Sexual intercourse, which is usually synonymous with stress reduction and the release of tension, suddenly becomes the opposite. Fortunately, there are several ways to overcome it!
Sex is fundamentally synonymous with pleasure and enjoyable experiences. Once performance anxiety sets in in the bedroom, sexual relations can quickly become a burden. A man’s fear of losing his erection or a woman’s fear of painful penetration are just a few examples of things that dampen arousal during sex. By repeatedly focusing on our anxieties, the brain eventually believes them, and they become reality. The organ at the heart of sexual relations is first and foremost the brain. That is why it is important to think positively and drive away thoughts that can negatively affect our performance.
Put all your energy into living in the present moment. Enjoy your partner’s caresses and the softness of their hands on your body, and let desire build within you. Drive away stress and all its negative thoughts, and instead let your sexual urges wash over you. Don’t think about what could go wrong; focus instead on the pleasure you are experiencing.
Performance anxiety in bed often arises following a negative event. For example, a man who lost his erection during his last sexual encounter will be much more likely to think about it during subsequent encounters and put considerable pressure on himself to prevent it from happening again. In doing so, however, he will create the opposite effect. The more he thinks about it, the less able he will be to perform. A little mishap during sex can happen to anyone; above all, we must not generalize and believe that it will happen every time. Let’s stop putting pressure on ourselves once and for all!
Obviously, talking to your partner about your sexual fears and performance anxiety is one of the good practices to adopt to reduce anxiety. Putting your anxieties into words, verbalizing them, and expressing how you feel about the situation can often help ease anxiety and apprehension about your next sexual experience. Your partner will reassure you, and you will soon feel relieved. After all, a healthy and pleasurable sexual relationship is just as enjoyable for one partner as it is for the other!
So take action before you become a spectator of your own sexuality, before your thoughts take up so much space that you are no longer able to fully enjoy your intimate moments. And if performance anxiety in bed becomes ever-present and you are at the end of your rope, remember that a sexologist can help you rediscover calm and fulfilling sexual relations. After all, it is so pleasant to live in the present moment, in bed, with our partner.