Seeing a sexologist can be anxiety-provoking and may sometimes be perceived as a failure. The first thing to know is that no problem is too small or too serious to justify seeing a specialist. Loss of sexual desire, erectile dysfunction, the frequency of sexual intercourse, infidelity - all of these issues can be reasons for a consultation, whose ultimate goal is to help the couple.

We often tend to want to solve our problems ourselves, because asking for help and meeting with specialists is often perceived as a sign of weakness. On the contrary, know that it is more a sign of strength to be able to acknowledge that we are experiencing a problem and take steps to resolve it. Remember that the goal of the consultation will always be to resolve what is not going well, so that peace and joy can return to the couple.

And do not make the mistake of believing that time will solve everything, because it very often has the opposite effect. A problem that is not addressed at the outset will tend to grow increasingly until it becomes too significant to resolve. It is better to call on specialists in the field to help us while there is still time.

The role of the sexologist
The sexologist is a clinical therapist with university training in sexology who provides sexual and psychological therapy. They work with individuals and couples to promote the development of more satisfying sexuality and sexual health. The sexologist acts somewhat like a guide and leads both partners to reflect comprehensively on what is happening in their relationship in order to identify potential problems. They will listen (a lot) and gather information from the individuals they are consulting with before proposing a treatment plan and recommendations.

It is possible to obtain the complete list of professionals accredited by the Association of Sexologists of Quebec (ASQ). This directory will help you find professionals in your area and learn about their respective specialties. Sexologists can also issue receipts for reimbursement purposes, which many group insurance plans now include in their coverage.

Why see a sexologist
The reasons for consulting a sexologist can be grouped into 3 main categories: sexual, relational and emotional difficulties, as well as difficulties related to health.

Sexual difficulties:
Here, we are mainly referring to sexual desire disorders, erection or ejaculation problems, orgasm-related disorders, and pain that may occur during penetration and sexual intercourse. Anything involving deviant sexual behavior can also be a reason for consultation, such as pornography addiction, exhibitionism and voyeurism, fetishism, or sexual abuse. The sexologist can also support and advise people questioning their sexual orientation and those experiencing gender identity disorders.

Emotional and relationship difficulties:
These mainly concern problems arising within the couple involving communication, emotional dependence, or excessive jealousy. The therapist will also work with couples seeking consultation for an extramarital relationship, domestic violence, performance anxiety, separation, or even bereavement.

Health-related difficulties:
The sexologist will help couples or individuals dealing with health problems such as infertility, menopause and andropause, gynecological and urological problems, disabilities, or sexually transmitted infections (STIs). They can also support couples in their sexuality during pregnancy or in the event of a miscarriage or abortion.

Preparing
Before meeting with your sexologist and beginning therapy with them, take the time to choose carefully. Each therapist has their own specialty, so it is better to find one with the tools necessary to help you. It is important to work with a sexologist you connect with, which will make therapy more pleasant and certainly more effective.

Once you have chosen a sexologist, remember that you also have a great deal of work to do in order to resolve the problem that brought you to consult them. Here are a few points to consider:

Set realistic goals. This way, you will be proud of your progress and able to achieve them. An impossible goal will only discourage you.
Put your sexologist’s advice into practice once you return home, and do the exercises they suggest.
Stop comparing yourself with other couples and individuals. Instead, focus on yourself and your own well-being.

And finally, discuss the session with your partner, because regardless of the problem, you are moving forward together through this process.